Okay so this came to me via email but it was soooo great and soooo wrong on so many levels that I just HAD to share it with all of you...
So kole was just out on the porch and brought in a flower (that had fallen out of the hanging pot) while saying "I'm bringing you a flower mommy" So he brings me the flower and as hes walking away says "I brought you a flower so I'ms going to marry my mommy" What I ask??? He says again that He's going to marry me... when I ask what he means he says " Well I love you mama and I bring you flowers and I kiss you ... so that means I'm going to marry you.. thats what it means." OMG could it be any cuter than that seriously!! So as I was talking to my guy (who i'm not really sure I've told you all exists) online he asked if I was going to set him strait or let him go with it i said "We'll I'm pretty sure that at 5 he means I love you mama.... So yea I'm gonna let him go with it cause its impossibly cute!"
Oh and my kids usually go to bed at 8 pm. So last night with Koles friend over Kas finally conked out at 9pm. and about 9:30 the little friend started balling saying that he missed his mom and wanted to go home. so I called his mom and she came to get him. In the meantime this made Kole very upset so he started balling which in turn woke up Kassie... so both were up till almost 10 pm in the end.. guh.. but hey they took a really great nap!
So today is a first.. I had a delusional moment and asked my sons best friend from school if he could stay the night tonight. He was supposed to arrive at 4 and his mom called at 315 and said they were out and with gas was is okay if they brought him early while they were out.. so he has been here since 3:15... Kole is a very encouragable little 5 year old... especially with his best friend from school.. now add this to my 4 year old combined with the fact that his mom lets him say things that I would NEVER let my kids say.. and oye vay. Kole keeps doing things that he knows are not acceptable just to show off... like throwing a bucket full of cars off of our 2nd story balcony one by one so that i would not know. Or while i was going to the bathroom him sneaking them all outside to pick them up after i distinctly told him NOT to through the door. The friend has said: shut up, damn it, woosy boy, scum bag.. among others.. and that is only in four hours.. I still have to get through all of these kids.. okay only three.. getting to sleep. So pray for me all. pray for me.
Is it to much to want to be loved?
Wholey, and completely. With ought restrictions. To have someone NEED me. To have some one love me for ME.. now who I was, who they want me to be, or who i could be... but just me. ME.
So I made a decision a few weeks ago and didn't tell anyone. I decided to start looking into college. I never knew that I would have so much interest in the medical field. If i had I definitely would go back and get my CNA in high school like some of the girls did. I will say that for the past, i don't know, a little over a year I've had people constantly tell me that I should look into college for surgical nursing. We do some surgeries in office and some we send to the hospital or surgical center. In office we do things like ingrown toenails, wart removal, cyst removal, screw removal and revision of scars. I L-O-V-E it. Its insane the rush from being there watching it that I get. I've been told by people its not to late, i definitely missed my calling, I would be great at it. Everyone from co-workers to friends to doctors to patients. I've thought about it but frankly for the past year i feel like I am hanging on for dear life just to get through every single day.. how would I be able to add school?? Classes, homework, kids, working full time, house work AHAHAHH!! Yea right. Well.. I'm finally to a point where I fell .. well.. less like I'm going to slip off the cliff at any moment! So I decided to go to school about three weeks ago. Was looking for courses for surgical nursing. I couldnt find any locally enough for me right now.. but I did see from course lists that all had basically the same pre-requisites. So I decided to just start there. I had a day off, brought the kids to day care and went to our local community college. Got registered, took my placement tests, started financial aid paperwork, and went home to choose which class to take first. Unfortunately it ends up that the summer session has started. The early session started the day before I went there to sign up, the mid-summer online courses were all full, and there were no online courses in the late summer session!! AHH!! Are you kidding!?! So now I'm all signed up, but have to wait till August when the fall sessions start. Sigh. But then maybe the financial aid stuff will be done so it will work out for the best. It will take me forever with doing one class at a time.. but it will be worth it in the end!
So heres the big news... I"M A GIRL!!.. I know.. shocking right? But what I mean is that in some ways I am very very much a girly girl. So in that manor I will say there are some things I do NOT know how to do.... Change a flat tire, change the oil, wire my TIVO so I don't have to unplug it to watch my vcr, stop my washing machine from dripping... and know how how to comprehend electricity. Lets face it.. my electrical knowledge goes as far as this: turn the switch= light turns on... if this doesn't work check if the light is plugged in... if not call for help! So one of my things I am horrible at doing in a timely mater is to change light bulbs. Well one by one the lights in my crappy little bathroom went out. There is only one fixture in the room which is above the sink. Inside it holds four light bulbs. So I'm thinking awesome.. lights are going out means I wont see how cruddy my bathroom is right?? SCORE! However when the last one went out I was forced to change them. Now I knew to turn the switch to off, then I unscrewed the light bulbs. Looking at the end I see that the old bulbs were 60w bulbs. So I go to my utility boxes.. yes boxes because I have yet to hang the shelves that I have had for the utility room since I've only been here over a year now... Anyway.. i go to the boxes and see that I'm out of bulbs except for two packages.. awesome i have 4 bulbs just the amount I need!! So I look at the box. damn they are 90w bulbs... oh well that just means that it will be brighter. So I go in and put them in and put the cover back on. Damn i can see the bathroom good now.. shit the room is still shitty!! Oh well.. and on my merry way I go. Three days later I go in to use my deodorant (and before you ask I WAS using deodorant just the one in the hall closet that ran out).. I go to the bathroom and get out my stick of deodorant and lift my sleeve and go to rub it on applying normal deodorant worthy pressure. and... SQUISH!! I have about 1/4 stick of deodorant sloshed on my underarm. Ewww says it very well yes. So I get some toilet paper and wipe it off... and so as not to repeat the performance, use the toilet paper to apply some of the slop to my other underarm. You see it turns out that if you put 4 90w light bulbs above your medicine cabinet then leave the lights on.. it gets a tad bit warm. Go figure huh! Enough so to melt deodorant, cook moisturizer, mold plastic bags to cotton balls, and evaporate contact solution. So word to the wise for all you girls girls out there.... Use the correct wattage light bulbs even if you have to go one morning in the dark! Either that or keep a guy around to change them for you!!
I would like to give a big shout out to all of my blogger mommy friends!!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!
I hope everyones day is extremely wonderful!
So we are sitting here eating the breakfast of champions... yes thats right PB&J... and the kids decide to get up and play cause they are done. Which all you moms know means don't throw it away cause they will be back in five minutes.... and today i just don't want to fight so I'm not pushing them to stay sitting till they are done! So Kassie gets up and is walking around and there is something black on the floor. looks kind of like a fuzzy. So I ask her what it is. She bends down squeezes it, touches it... and then picks it up and goes to put it back down. So i ask her to throw it away. On the way there she says "Its okay mommy.. Apollo's tail just got broke." our cat Apollo is striped black/gray.. lol... so she just assumed that his tail got broked and that was what the fuzzy was! lol.
So Koles birthday party was yesterday (his actual birthday was Wednesday). It was at the McDonald's in the next town which has a play land with tunnels. It was a fantastic stress fee venture I would recommend to any and all single moms who work full time. No stress before, no clean up after. And I think the actual party would have been no stress if we had a better host. However Jose could not handle 18 children.. could not talk over them.. could not give them direction.. and had no plan as to what to do when. So I ended up doing the whole middle of the party. But it was fun... His favorite gift was probably his camera from his Bah... who always has a camera in HER hand and is an amazing photographer. It is so cute to look at his pictures.. some are really great.. you can tell when his sister gets the camera cause they are all blurry. lol. Although I didn't think of all the pictures of me that there would be. like right now.. just woke up.. hair everywhere... mismatched pj's.. no bra. Yea you all get the picture... shudder.... Don't worry i am NOT posting those here!! lol
A family member emailed me this and i just loved the truth to it!!
WOMAN'S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
MAN'S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a crap.
Lol.. good news i finally have everything straightened out with AT&T so I will be on here more!! YEA!..
The bad news... I had Koles 5th birthday party today and am to damn tired to blog!! so heres the poem for you and I'll write again soon.. I Promise!!
tooooo funny!! I never would have guessed! I'm not sure about the year.. but the description is right on!
You Belong in 1984 |
 Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. |
So I just love the age of my kids right now... Kole is almost 5 and Kassie is 3 1/2. The funniest, oddest, most embarrassing things come out of their mouths. Every morning I give the kids breakfast, set their clothes on the couch, instruct them to finish breakfast and then get dressed... and off I go to get ready myself. Most days this runs right on schedule. But the little things that happen in between are so funny. Today I did the normal and then jumped in the shower. I should say that I think this has never happened because I usually shower at night... but decided to shower this morning. So I was in my bedroom getting dressed and Kole came in and asked if he could get dressed in the bathroom (with the door shut). I said sure since I had a few minutes before I needed to get in there. Then Kassie goes running past my door saying "I haves to go potty, I haves to go potty!!" so he looks at me and says "Mommy can I get dressed in your room then?" And of course with ought thinking I reply "Yea, Sure." And proceed to finish getting dressed. Kole climbs up on the bed to get dressed and I begin putting on my bra... then this conversation took place...
Kole: (looks down at his chest, looks at mine, then back to his) "Mommy when are my boobies going to get bigger like yours?
Me: Um hunny, you are a boy so yours don't get bigger.
Kole: But how are daddies?
Me: Daddies are like yours. They stay like that. Only girls boobies get bigger.
Kole: (looking at my chest again) But I want bigger boobies!
Me: Well I'm sorry hun.. you are a boy.. but you will be JUST LIKE DADDY!!
Kole: (looking pensive) Then are sissys going to get bigger, cause shes a girl?
Me: Um yes.. eventually. But not till shes older.
Kole: THATS SO COOL!! (starts screaming for kassie)
Me: Kole, What are you doing? Let your sister eat!
Kole: I haves to tell her mom!!
**Now enter Kassie**
Kassie: What Kole?
Kole: Kassie guess what? Its sooo COOL! Your boobies are going to get bigger like mommies!!
Kassie: WOW!! THAT AWESOME!!
Then both went running off to watch TV.. completely unaware of me standing stunned in the corner!!
So I was over visiting Lainey's blog and it was about how she used the "because I said so" line on her son. My line I have SWORN I would never say is "Do you want me to give you something to cry about!" My dad used that line all the time growing up. And you know... it just ERKS me! yes erks.. lol... I mean we were already crying! It doesn't mater if you don't think that it is a good reason to cry, but we are.
Anyway It got me thinking about my current situation with my daughter. Kole is almost 5 and she is 3 1/2. Lately my son has been bursting into tears to get what he wants something. And it was driving me CRAZY!! So one day when I was talking to my BFF Guin (also the babysitter) if he was doing that at her house. She looked perplexed and said no. Odd I thought... Then one day about a week later she said he did it today.. started the "baby routine" such as i call it .... And she asked him why he would do that? And do you know his answer?? "Because sissy does it and mommy talks to her" Ouch.. yea. That opened up my eyes to what I'm letting my baby get away with that I never would have let him. So I'm really cracking down on this with her.. so lets just say Tylenol has been my best friend the past week cause when she realizes the crying is not working it just gets louder. Oye vay.
You know I remember a time though when I realized I was doing the same thing with Kole.. And now did it with Kassie.. but for different reasons... with Kole I had a very hard time disciplining him at points because he was my miracle baby. I had lost a baby before him, went through a fertility center, would have lost him if I hadn't known as early and gone on progesterone.... He was the baby I never thought would be here. So how do you discipline something so precious... Well I got it together. I think with Kassie it is the fact of the past year... its been hell on wheels, ups and downs... more emotional downs than ups, and frankly a struggle daily. But I finally feel like I may be getting to an even point.... so here we go again.. redoing what I have done wrong and teaching her the rights and wrongs. Let me warn you.. its much easier I'm sure to do it right in the first place.. but i doubt anyone has ever gotten child rearing right the first time... right!
So I'm a Scorpio... and my horoscopes are usually dead on. In the freaky is someone stalking me sort of way. Now don't worry.. I'm not one of those must read what the stars say before i can leave my house in the morning... but occasionally I do pick it up to look. And when i do if its an old one, it usually is spot on... and if its for current of future.. well that can either scare the shit out of me or give me something to look forward to. So in a boredom buster today i logged onto mylifetime.com. The site for Lifetime TV... yes thats right I'm a sucker for their movies. So the site has lots of cool, funny things to read, look at or do. One of which was an astrology section. And being that I had not looked in a while I decided to click.
Now the financial section... hah.. that was totally a page out of my checkbook.. and trust me right now that is NOT a good thing.. so I'm not going to talk about that. then there was a love/romance section. Just for poops and giggles I'm not going to tell you what that said either... Why you ask?? Because I'm thinking along the same line it says and i don't want to jinx anything. So yes.. it was very good. Then there was a 2008 at a glance section. This is the one that got me. The couple sections on times already past this year were right on. Then there was allot about whats to come, times to look forward to, and times to look out for. Then there was the last section. One or two sentences........ and wow.. here they are:
So I decided after the post last night that I had to think fast.. reallly fast. I figure a 3 and 4 year old are much like a puppy... If you don't punish right away they don't know what they are getting in trouble for. So last night we did most of their night time routine.. climbed into bed.. and talked about it. They knew what they did was wrong. So they lost their night time song. and then today when we got home they had to call and apologize to Bah (their grandma) for being bad while she was here. She was absolutely horrified that i did that. But I figure that if I can say if mommy was here would have acted that way? and the answer is No. and then I ask then why did you? and the response is i don't know or because... they knew that what they did was wrong. And if they knew what they did was wrong then they needed to understand that that is unacceptable! How else will they ever learn that its not okay to be that way.. right? I said that I know when I was a child I NEVER would have been able to get away with that... I would have had a punishment too. So the question i say is this... When did society get to the point that its acceptable for kids to act that way? It wasn't when I was a kid... and further more.. At what point do you think your grandkids shouldn't be punished?? lol.. must just be when you become a grandma! But I stand by my decision. They needed to take the consequence for their action.
Thats what PMAC stands for. aka.. you know... the letters behind my name!! So lets see.. whats new.. me and my man are doing very very well. There is allot of potential there i think. He has a great job, a house, and is really great. Unfortunately due to my schedule, his schedule, and the kids it is hard to get together but its nice too. It forces us to take it slow. Which you know.. you don't always want to do :) I was so down at work today and i have NO idea why!! nothings wrong!! and my co workers kept asking me what was wrong. I think I'm just tired.. who would know that four days in a luxury hotel in Chicago would be so tiring!! Well.. when i put it that way anyway... really i was VERY busy. I really love learning new things. I would have loved college.. and yes to all of you writing right now.. I do understand that its not to late.. but my life doesn't really allow time for it now and I don't want to sacrifice the little time I do have with the kids.. and hey I don't need it for my job after all.. I'm certified baby!! But I learned allot, had a great time, ate some great food, got my PMAC certificate.. so yea i guess that tired is allowed at this point!
On the down side my mom had a HORRIBLE time with the kids.. how bad you ask.. they were taken by pod people she says.. and she will never watch them again. I know.. OMG. And I know they were not feeling well.. but it is no excuse.. I'm trying to come up with a punishment.. cause they KNOW they were not acting in a way that was acceptable at all. When I asked "would you do that if mommy was here" and the answer is "No".. I know they knew they did wrong.. so I'm trying to think of something. They got a talking to when I got home but if they were bad enough for a grandma to say "I will NEVER watch them again.. and I'm serious Jess." that is so over the top that something must be done. Ideas welcome!
well.. I PASSED>. I am officially... Jessica A (my last name), PMAC. DUDE>. how COOL is that.. i have letters after my freakin name!! The test was a serious bitch. it was three hours and 400 questions.... but i got a 96%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I aced a section, the others I got all 90's on and the other i got an 86% so i did damn good. so i'm freaking exhausted now so thats all i can do for today.. i'll tell you more about my weekend soon... night all! and hope you had a good one too!
So i wont be on for a few days most likely. I am going to the big city of Chicago for a Podiatrist convention... I know sounds like a blast doesnt it!! Well I actually AM excited cause it IS fun! but I'm also nervous as hell that my test is Friday. I'm gonna die if i dont pass it!!! SO I'm just cleaning, and studying and spending time with the kidos today since i wont see them till Sunday. I guess i could bring my laptop with but i doubt i would have time to sit at it.. so i'll talk to you all soon.. dont miss me too much.
So I took today off to go to my doctor and kole's doctor.. found out this morning that his appointment was yesterday.. nice. But on the good side I went to mine, got a prescription for my headache medicine, and a referral to get my back injections!
Dick was supposed to get the kids at 2 today... then he called saying he would be here at 6... he just called saying that he is still at work.. and its 6:02. also in the phone call ... he told me.. "I know this is going to make you the happiest woman in the world.. but I got required fro Sunday" So instead of me getting them at 1.. having a free weekend, relaxing.. I am missing my plans right now because of his work, getting them back tomorrow night or Sunday morning because of his work. I'm so sick of everything being about him and whats convenient for HIM. His kids are the ones that loose... and damn it I'm sick of having to reschedule MY plans because of what works best for him!!
But on the upside I will have them for all day easter... we will have an egg hung, easter baskets and fun. Whats funny is Kassi keeps calling the easter bunny... "Easter" like how Santa Clause is Santa... he is just Easter. Its really cute.. so I hope all of you have a really great Easter!
So i'm sorry its been so long... this past while has just really sucked.. I've been training the new girl, re-writing the OSHA standards for our whole office, and studying for a giant certification course that is costing my employer hundreds of dollars.. no pressure right!! So the OSHA class was today, i'm down to two weeks left of training her and my test is next Friday. And... I want to explode!!
Add all that to the worst month of Endometriosis I've had in a LONG time, No one that will take my state aid insurance card to give me an injection in my back.. so I'm in allot of physical pain. NOW.. add that to that and THEN add... that March 10th would have been my 7 year wedding anniversary... and that last St. Patrick's day was the very beginning of the very end. That was the night that all the sudden everyone around us realized there was a serious problem.
So its been really rough. Worst part is that i don't WANT to be married to him.. at all.. but my mom hit it on the head that its more a sadness about lost dreams then the guy.
Last night while putting my contacts (which i just got again after a year of glasses) away i ran out of solution grabbed the next bottle that was the WRONG solution (it has to be in a special case) and put it in the rest of the way to fill it up.... well ends up it has to be in the special case for a reason cause i burned (literally) the crap out of my eye.. fells quite swollen right now! and is bright red.
On a good note... and yes i'm going to try to end this on a good note.. I'm finally starting to feel comfortable in my life.. like the glove is starting to fit. Before I felt like I was wearing a glove that NEVER could have been mine and wasn't supposed to be. I brought the kids to the zoo tomorrow and that was so amazing.. i will FOREVER go to the zoo when it is cold/cool outside. there were so few people there that the kids got to get soooo close to so many of the animals!
