This is me.

Hello all. Yes that right... Its 4:06 am.. and i'm blogging. after having visited a couple blogs to read up and leave comments. I couldnt go to bed till 12:06 and here I am having been up for like over an hour already. sigh. That means that if i didnt get to comment on yours i will try to later today. I mean... There are alot of you.... but the two little people in the other room will be up. and if i EVER hope to keep up with them in what ever our ventures today may be.... I must try to sleep again. I havent had trouble sleeping in quite a while... but have the past four days including tonight. Hopefully its all just do to stress with the divorce yesterday. So Heres hoping that i can sleep again soon!!

So Yesterday was pretty uneventfull... went to the court house with my mama as moral support. *** thanks a bunch mom****** then i sat in the court room till my lawyer got there. talked to him for a minute. then we had to wait for Dick to get there So that we could sign the papers to actually get divorced.. which his lawyer was bringing with her. (Yea thats right his lawyer was a little size two blond bimbo) So they came.. my lawyer called me out... we went over the changes most of which were done.... so i signed it. went back in waited for him to sign.. got called up to the front of the court. He took the stand... I took the stand and it was done. Afterwords we walked out. My mama asking me if i needed to talk to him or.. anything..... now to explain this after her and my dads divorce they cried through all the procedings... kissed at the end.. walked out hand in hand... then went to coffee and lunch. Yeah I know right.. anyone who knows anyone who has gone through a divorce knows that this is NOT normal. But she didnt know that. I kept saying No... what needed to be said had been said. Then I realized that he had told the sitter that we were going to discous that morning about him paying her. Sigh.. i went to call her to find out if he had when he droped the kids off so i didnt have to do this. But before i could he walked out of the courthouse. so i figured (yes i was dilusional but chalked it up to my moms stories of how nicely hers went forgeting how mine is) I would just go out and talk to him about it since he told Gigi the night before that he was going to discous it with me at just such a moment. SO i got out of the car with mom... walked to the sidewalk he was going down... asked if he had paid her this morning or what we needed to set up about that... and the conversation went down from there. I will say I was so deflated from the whole situation i didnt call him names, raise my voice, or say anything mean. But.. he did.. while yelling... on the sidewalk.. infront of the courthouse.. for all to see. And on top of that he acted like he had never even HAD the conversation with Gigi in the first place. never mind this had occured not even twelve hours before. So i turned walked back to moms car who stood looking in me at aww, horror, amazement (none in a good way) at what had just gone down... got in closed the door... and then and only then did I let the tears come out. I didnt cry in the court room although I came close... I didnt cry when he was screaming at me or even in front of him... So hopefuly that is something that i still have my dignity.

Then i went to spend four hours in the hospital!! No No.. i did not get hurt... i had to get a blood test series that took that long! They think.. and i think... that I might be diabetic. But not the normal high blood sugar diabetic.. my blood drops low like 62 non fasting low. I sweat, get shakey, tingly, light headed, tired. And at work we have a glucose meter so it was easy to check what my numbers were... for those of you unawhare that is a very low number for a non-fasting person. I mean it couldbe lower yes... but you know.. since i was about to FAINT... when i get that way i have to drink some oj to up my blood sugar.

From there things went up... my mom brought me, Fred and Freida to my sis' house. And we played with the kids, knitted, and smoked. Okay so i dont smoke, but i did take a second hand smokers brake!... okay and i didnt get much knitting done at all.. but lets face it... I WAS FREAKING EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i think the day that i had warents that. And its my blog ... so i'm ALWAYS right on here.. muahhh hahhh aaahhhhhhh.

Anyway So i'm going to make a REALLY HONEST TO GOD HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHARD effort to blog almost daily... and to call and visit people. I'm sure the visiting will not happen all so often but at least i'm going to try to call more... i promise.... I'll try ;-)