Quarter Life Crisis

So we have all heared the term mid-life crisis. Well I've decided I'm having a quarter life crisis! i mean come on who can blame me. this year: I will be 25, Will be divorced, My baby will be three. Pick one, pick two, pick them all!! Any one is reason to be FREAKING OUT!!!! Okay maybee thats a little extreme but.. oh wait... no its not!!! How can you feel like everything you are going to accomplish in life has happened and not even be freaking 25 yet!!!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?! FREAKING OUT HER PEOPLE>>> FREAKING OUT!!!! So in a... okay mildly drunken.... episode of watching TV I got it. My B-day is November 12th.... SOOOOOOOO (Thanks to my mom since i don't get paid till Friday.. THANKS MOM) I will be going to a Keith Urban concert on November 16th!!! Oh wait.. not just Keithy-poo... but FREAKING GARY ALLEN TOO!!!!!! I know.. I'm so flipin excited. I mean i figured if you are going to be freaking out on the 12th why not have something to look forward to and snap you out of it on the 16Th.. right?? AGREE WITH ME HERE PEOPLE!!! TRUST ME.. I'M A WOMAN ON THE EDGE... AGREE.

Okay sorry.. might have.. okay ... i DID freak a little there. Seriously. I thought you were not supposed to go through this until you were much older. Apparently i was mistaken. I feel like its happened, I've been there.... and its allllllllllllllll down hill from here. Damn. Shit. whoo.. wh ooo... whooo... sorry had to breath felt a freak out coming on again. Geesh.... Its not even October.. I sure hope this is not going to bet worse before my b-day.. it could get ugly. Hope I survive!

Sigh..I'm back

So I just KNOW all of you have missed me horribly.. i mean come on.. how DO you get through your day without my witty banter, blissful bitching, and absurd comments!! My internet has been out for a week.. guh. Most of which i will admit was due to me not paying the bill!! Really funny to me how they expect you to send them something back when they send you a letter.. thinking i might start requiring something back every time I send something to somebody!! lets just all hold our breath and see how that goes huh!! So then I finally got it turned on well.. payed anyway.. and they didn't turn it back on!! Was supposed to be on Sat morning but didn't actually come on till Tues morning!! I mean come on. how rude... and yea.. i did tell them i thought it was rude.
So what has happened.. I got more boxes put away and ate more junk food than i should have... turns out apparently the internet and blogging is a great boredom buster and helps avoid eating..... but also makes you not want to unpack boxes for the place you've lived for so long. haha. I finally caved and put a TV in my kids room... They are NOT to watch it at night but when they wake up they can push the movie in and watch till mommy gets up.. yea its cheap trick but you know what... it lets me get that much needed extra hour of sleep sometimes. Amazing how much you miss that rare time when your husband would do that. I rearranged some of the dressers in my kids room. what else what else... Dick came over last night to bring me some food out of the freezer from when we lived together that he didn't have room for.... IE he had to take out the chicken he would have to cook to put in frozen diners. Then tonight we got in a knockdown drag out about the fact that i had a petition for child support filed so that he could not hang it over my head anymore.... never mind that its normal procedure.. it means him paying money so he was pissed... should have seen that one coming.
Hmm... OH they FINALLY fixed the stuff in my house. My dryer vent was clogged, my screen door popped out of the tract and my blinds in the living room quit working. Now keep in mind that the vent could have been clogged by any tenant or that the blinds have never worked completely right since i moved in...... it took them THREE.. yes THREE and 1/2 weeks to get in to do this. You know.. since the maintenance guy is sooooooo busy here. so i had no.. or barely any... dryer for that long. Meant ALLOT of laundry duty this past weekend.. but i'm finally cought up. But on topic... I came home and saw the paper on my table meaning that it was all done.. and i read it... and it appears to me.. THAT THEY ARE CHARGING ME $60 FOR DOING THESE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Excuse me!!!! is this not what i pay rent for.. and for gods sake.. any tenant could have caused these products.. like the one who lived here before me!! geesh. Guh... i'm gonna fight it.. was going to go down today
Today i was GOING to... go down to my clubhouse about that bill, go the the food stamp place to get my stuff renewed, and go renew my wick.. had a fun filled, government funded day planed. then at 7:40 my phone rings and its my office manager. My co-worker passed out this am and her husband was bringing her to the er... guh... its her, me and the girl thats been there four days. obviously i didn't have a choice in the matter.. so.... I went to work and brought Freida to the sitters which did NOT go over well since i had already told her that we were going to be together... of course yes i know.. i wasn't even out of eyesight and the crying stopped.
WHEW.. so now you are all mostly, kind of caught up and brought up to date on the happenings of my vida loca. I know... glad you weren't here huh!!

Oh yea PS.. i must not have ate too bad cause although i did not lose any weight i did not gain any either yesterday am. YEA!!

A very nothing post!

Lets see.. tomorrow is weigh in day. A little nervous.. all in all I've been good but i did go out on Friday and we all know alcohol is not the best thing for a diet! I did eat after 9 twice the past week... at least i had a yogurt cup work 1 point each time.. .but still was mad that i still ate after 9. I went to get a couple things at the grocery store today and was seduced into buying a cooking light cookbook by the amazing pic on the front, how big it was, and that it was a 20th anniversary magazine (which anniversary issues are always good) .. but as in my previous post i was HORRIFIED!! meals with a 400+ calorie 20+ fat count... my god they need to change their name.. that is NOT cooking light!!

okay off my soap box. lets see.. not to much new or interesting in my life. I was reafirmed in my if i give dick an inch he has to take a foot. This is ALWAYS how it was in our relationship and i've put my foot down for the most part. He called and asked if i could take Freida back today so him and Fred could get some alone time.. he wanted to take him to a demolition derby (which I knew he would love). For some background Freida always gets that little extra while Fred is at school. He always takes her to breakfast.. every day.... and usually wal mart. Now this year she is old enough so that her first words when he gets in the car after school are. hi Fred.. i went here and here.. and we did this and this. Now this makes him mad and i know she only does it to rub it in which makes it a little funny. But back on subject... I called him and said fine. ... I mean Me and Freida could have a good girls day. so he says he'll bring her home at 11. Then he shows up with her at a couple minutes to 10! I was like um you said 11! Then as they are leaving i say okay Fred I'll see you at six!! (the usual drop of time) and Dick is like well i can bring him home when its done! and I said.. UM NO!! You wanted time with him spend time with him not like theres not a million things you could do with him where you are going!! So needless to say he showed up at my door 1/4 to four. Now the race STARTED at one... and it was at least 40 minutes to get here. He didn't bring him around the fair at all!!! there were tons of things there Fred would have loved. And hes only getting them for a couple hours on Thursday then not till next week... seriously... he couldn't take a couple hours with his son!

Lonely

You know today is one of those days. I'm lonely. Just plain lonely. The kids are here and i'm happy mommy. I get all my snuggles.. all my i love yous. My bitch Gigi has been over so i got my complain on, got to (try to) comfort. I cooked, watching a funny show (tori and dean inn love.. I LOVE IT). I'm baking cakes for another cake order.. for my mom if that counts...lol. .. which i love to do.

But you know... i miss someone to come home snuggle on the couch with. put my head on his lap... his arm resting on my back. Someone to climb into bed with rest m head in that perfect nook of his shoulder... kiss the top of my head. or to spoon with.. i love spooning. I miss having someone to comfort me. There is something about these situations that just cant come from friends or family or kids. Sometimes i just cry because i miss it... i need it.

Blah... I am FINALLY going to get my hair done with my mama tomarow. I'm very overdue. So hopefully that will make me feel a little better. Everyone says.. Pokey.. you are young.. you'll find someone.. i'm SURE of it. Well you know what.. the problem is I'M not sure of it. And what am i going to do between now and then.... How am I going to fill this need? First of all.. I OBVIOUSLY need to get a vibrator. I know gasp.. she just said the v word. hahahah.. but you know what You need what you need. I'm a big girl who never had need for one till now. I see one in my future. Whats so funny is thats not even the need i was talking about. it was the need from the previous paragraph.. but you know..the other might help. . lol

Weigh in

Well there it is todays weigh in. Now I hate first weigh ins.. i know i've been sick and barely ate for three weeks.. but seriously.... I DO NOT look like i lost 18 pounds... i dont believe it at all. You would know if you lost that much weight!!! I'm sure of my starting weight though.. did it three days in a row before i made the ticker and started my diet... its what motivated me too.... and i'm sure of todays cause i actually did it the last two days and it was around the same.. how in the hell is it possible... I'm confused

Alli= CRAPOLA

So I've been sick sick sick. I bought the new FDA approved Alli weight loss pill on Tuesday. I have hypothyroidism so i can never find anything to help me loose weight. Also this makes it near impossible to take weight off and i just have to look at something to gain! So... Alli did not say that.. it says my medication just may need to be adjusted.. SCORE!! So i read about it thought about it.. then bought it. I took one on tues night.. then one with lunch and one with dinner on wed ( I forgot my one with breakfast) Wed night i woke up at 12:45 with the most god awful cramps i was SURE that my appendix burst or something.. it was that bad!! Well I went to bed... being single mom doesn't allow random trips in the middle of the night to the er.. or i WOULD have gone. I woke up Thursday thinking i felt a little better and maybes i just ate something that didn't agree with me... So... silly (stupid) me.... I took one with breakfast on Thursday... then went to work.. far far far away. Okay well it was only like 35-35 min away but that's forever if you feel like crap. Well.... I was in the bathroom ALL day long... almost crying due to the cramps still... but there was ABSOLUTELY no one to work for me, so i suffered through. Came home and went to bed at 8 o'clock! (Thanks gigi for putting the kidos to bed for me ;-) ) So Friday still felt crappy.. enough to think about calling to see if someone could work for me. .... i went anyway silly me.. but that's the kids of stupid ass worker I am! Damn my sense of work ethic!! So i went muddled through till lunch. I came home and decided that maybe i was a little extra tired cause i didn't eat anything for breakfast that morning. So i forced myself to eat MAYBE a 1/4 of a can of vegetable soup. Then was so sure i was going to throw it up I went and laid in bed. I had twenty minutes to lay under my fan and calm my stomach down...... wellllll problem being i WOKE UP 37 minutes later!1 AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA i woke up 3 minutes after our first patient after lunch i ran down, drove like a crazy woman back to work.. and when i finally stopped long enough.. felt like i was still going to get sick. It was so bad (cramps were back) I actually called two people to come in for me. but I could not get anyone to come it. UGH... so i would be cheery as possible, get them in, tell Dr. Mcfooty that they were ready, then sit with my head down,,,, and repeat till end of day.

Yesterday was a swap between Gigi and my mom stopping in with things and to check on me.... same-o same-o... then today i woke up... I fell soooo much better!!! My stomach is sore.. but it think its just that sore from cramps cause its not sick sore.

So moral of the story is.. it wasn't the Flu cause i would not have just been so much better all at once... That pill definitely reacted badly with my body!! I know the possible side effects are gross if you've read about it... but what i had is not the bad side effects.. it was practically an allergic reaction.

Well If you are still reading this sorry for the gross post!! lol... I'm sure this will also tip the scale on monday... Since ive barely eaten anyting for three days. I hate when that happens.. makes me feel like its not right.. the scale reading i mean. well see.