Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Sleep problems

So anyone who has been reading my blogs very long knows that Fred has sleeping issues. I have also said before that I think he has ADHD. I started looking online about his not sleeping well. Found out there are a few causes.. read allot... and thought you know I think he has ADD or ADHD. I mentioned this to Gigi as well and she said she had been thinking that but wasn't sure how to say it without offending me. So the more I read and observed fred.. i realized he definitely had one of them. So I asked doctor.. then another.. then another. I was told.. he must not need that much sleep, he was to young to have add etc, he was a normal toddler, i needed to let him sleep with me, I needed to dicapline him more. Every time I left crying and hopeless. i KNEW as his mom that he had a problem. At his sisters appointment last week I again voiced my concerns. She recomended that I bring him to a child psychologist to be evaluated. So today was the appointment. It was the first time I have not left a office in tears. She said that he definatly had signs of adhd. He was active, and yes all toddlers are active, but his was above and beyond the amount of normal curiosity or activity. Laws now state that a child under the age of five can not be put on medication for ADD or ADHD. which is fine by me. I do not WANT to put Fred onto medication. Then we addressed his sleep issues. Ever since Fred was little he has had problems going to sleep. I said it once in a way that makes the most sense.... at night he just wont "shut off" .. If i am laying there with him putting his arm back down, quieting him, calming him he will go to sleep but on his own it takes a good two hours. And yes Ive tried everything in the book. Routines, longer routines, tiring him out, etc. So she agreed that he was not getting enough sleep and that yes, it appeared that it was interfering with his life now. So there is a non-habit forming medication that they give to children with behavioral problems (aka adhd) who also have sleeping problems. It is commonly used in adults for high blood pressure but used correctly it is effective at sleep problems in children. It only stays in the body for 6 hours so there is absolutely no risk of dependency. At this point it is about improving Fred's quality of life. I believe that if I can just help him sleep this will also help in his daily activities. I do not want to put him on medication.. but if he was diabetic would I think about giving him insulin? no. This problem is interfering from him living a full life.. and now I'm going to help him.
However.. naturally.. when i told Dick about this he flipped. Everything from i constantly have the kids on medication, to I should discipline him more, I shouldn't put him to bed when i do, I should spend more time with him, I should put him with another sitter, I just wanted to chalk him full of drugs, i didn't want to deal with him, I should spank more time out less, I just wanted him (Dick) to have to pay more money. You think he may have said it and trust me.. he yelled it at me. rudely, and with many obscenities. I hung up on him three times because I would not allow him to talk to me this way. I was balling uncontrollably because this was not about me.. this was about Fred and how his life was. It is no way to live being tired, cranky, and unable to concentrate when he has no say so or ability to not be that way. So I made Dick an appointment with the Doctor to talk with her about what she feels about Fred, what the medication is about, and how to proceed from here. I will get in touch with her after that to see how it went and to discus where to go from here.
I understand his reservations.. I do.. I dont want our four year old to be on medication either. BUT if he needs it to live a good life then so be it. Now legally I do NOT have have his permission to give Fred a medication to help him. Would it make it easier.. absolutely. But I am the one who is with Fred all the time, I am the one who takes care of him. And its not just me. Other people have asked me if i have considered getting him tested for this as well. I am not crazy I just finally found someone who sees the problem from a medical standpoint. I just hope that Dick will come to his senses and realize this is what is best for Fred. It will make everyones life better.

2 comments:

Chris said...

Wow!

That sounds like a really hard day!!

*hugs*

Just know that you are a good mommy for doing what is best for bugga. That's all that matters in the end.

Lainey-Paney said...

My little brother has ADHD & some OCD tendencies. He had horrrrrible sleeping problems....I can't say for a fact when it started, but I remember it from when he was about 4 years. We're talking up until 3 or 4 in the morning. He definitely stayed up later than my parents, and once---apparently the scissors weren't put up. He started trimming the bottoms of his curtains, and just kept cutting & cutting, trying to get them even on both sides....until they were all F*D up....my poor parents...

He's on medication.
I see other parents say, "oh, this child just needs discipline..." etc.
With Allen---he had very very very poor impulse control. He couldn't seem to restrain himself from doing thing...
The medication lets him have good days. The medication lets him not get into trouble every single day. The medication seems to help him...

...but, I understand the reservations you may have too...