the drop off

tonight Dick came to drop off the kids in his usual manner. while i turned to walk back in with the children he asked if i was going to sign the papers. To which i replied (calmly and nicely) did you talk to your lawyer about the things i said last week? he said what things there was one. I said no... and proceeded to tell him the three. I walked in walkway with kids and he called me names in front of the kids, then slammed the door... As Fred was turning back out it to give him a hug. Fred jumped back and looked at me with shock. I was pissed that he would have such disregard for his son... so i stormed out the door (okay looking back this probably wasn't the right move) .... i barely had it open when he came .. BOUNDING over at me... i honestly do not remember if he actually pushed me back or if i jumped back to avoid being pushed.. but either way i was slammed up to the door... and he had his finger to my nose screaming two inches from my face about how i was such a bitch and i was going to pay half the fees or get my own lawyer and pay for it myself cause he wasn't going to deal with this shit......

In the mean time i turned my head to the side to turn away from him and see my kids standing watching this... with a look of horror and fright. I try to inch to the side to go to them and he inches as well... finally i get past and he is screaming that I am a piece of shit that he wishes he never met as I'm trying to talk happy to the kids over him even as my insides are being torn out. Not only at the fact of what he is saying but to the fact that he did this in front of the kids.. i get around the turn in the downstairs hallway and all the sudden both kids burst into hysterical tears. I stop right there go down to their level and hug them talking soothing and asking what is wrong. Big shocker.. they say that daddy scared them and they didn't like how he was screaming and wanted a hug from him... So i go upstairs with them call him and say "You scared you kids if you ever do that again so help you god... they want to talk to you... and passed the phone to each of them. It required twenty minutes of mommy cuddling and talking and two more calls to daddy to calm them down.

Add to that that he says when they first got out of the car that he is working Mon-Fri this week so instead of getting them overnight on Thurs that he will call me or gigi (who watches them while I'm at work) and pick them up two days this week for a couple hours. I said.. no you will get them Friday night then if you cant on Thursday night. He screams that's not how it works.. its not my weekend to have them!!! (cause you know.. god forbid it should take one night out of his partying to see his children) So i turned and looked at him and said... then don't see them if its not... your choice.

Who is this person....... I have appointment tomorrow on my lunch hour with the lawyer in my building. I am not going for anything.. i don't want anything... i just want these papers to be equal... completely fair..... but if I'm getting my own lawyer you bet your ass i am doing one thing and one thing only. I will be making him have to pay for the fees.

I'm not saying the problems in our marriage were not all his fault. We both had our faults...BUT the reason it ended the way it did WAS because of what HE did. And i will not take fault for him putting his hands on multiple other people, not coming home, or passing out while watching Fred and Freida.