Monday, June 11, 2007

Hmmm..

So i have a thrilling question for you all... How do you know you are to fat to go tanning??

I have just bought myself a tanning package about four days ago. I figured in my current place in life i wanted to do something to make me feel good about myself and to be a little getaway for just me.... now don't ask me why when i thought about those things the first thing that popped into my mind was-"HEY.. I know.. how about i get in a little round tube with glaring lights so i can sweat my ass off!!"

So anyway i went tanning on my lunch hour today.. trying to get some sort of color on my pasty white body. So i get back to work and think man i think i may have burned my back. Who knew that the areas you have NEVER let see the light of day would burn the worst! okay well actually it makes a lot of sense i guess. SO anyway I'm in the bathroom at work thinking this and lift up my shirt to check if my stomach is burned.. a little but not to bad... so i turn around to see if my back is burned.,.................................

Then i saw it..... the proof.. the answer to the mystery question.... how I knew that I'm too fat to go in a stand up tanning thingy....

you know that little love handle area? and above it that little fatty area on your back? Oh yea you know what I'm talking about! I mean what woman doesn't! And all of you pleasantly plump women out there like myself know that it gets larger as you gain weight...

So back to the point.. I'm looking at my back in the mirror and notice as i bend just so... i saw white.. well that's odd.. there should be SOME color everywhere now!!! then i raised my hands in the air.. .and to my absolute HORROR.. under that little fatty area was a nice little white spot on both sides that never saw the kajilion watt bulbs... because .... of.... my ..... fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well there i feel better now.. okay well not really.. still feel ridiculous!!! but hey what is a voluptuous woman to do??

5 comments:

Chris said...

LMAO!! I so have been there! Self tanning lotions. Lots easier on the ego ;-)

Diane said...

I've never heard of the stand up tube type version, except the spray booth for liquid tanning. I'd so miss the laying down on a nice bright warm sheet of sticky sweaty Plexiglas!!
As to skin not ever seeing the light of day (for what ever reason!), my thoughts are: if the blang tube didn't see it - then no one else will either!! Unless you go bra-less and backless withing the next few weeks.

Raeann said...

maybe I'm not understanding you right? But you're supposed to turn between 45˚ and 60˚ half way through to avoid that and raise your arms to get your armpit areas. and a tan makes ya look skinnier and healthier, and the UV rays make you happy! so try and keep motivated. :)

*ignores cancer risk*

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Becki said...

too. damn. funny.