I guess your first time is always scary and hurts.

SO anyone knows me knows that i am NOT a virgin so get your head out of the gutter people! I have blogged before on myspace but my life was much different. For those of you who don't know me I am currently separated from my husband technically but will be getting a divorce when I can. I have two great kids who are the love of my life, my sunshine, my air. And i just downsized from a four bedroom house to a two bedroom apartment... so to say the least my life is a tiny weenie bit hectic right now. since you know my background now please excuse if the blogs get a tad dark at times... you know what.. never mind.. if you don't like it then don't read it!! sorry calming down.
I have suffered from depression for a very long time.. and as you can guess... the current situation is not helping. I'm actually changing medications so am currently on a MUCH lower dose due to the fact i have to ween myself off of this one to start the other one. Has made for a not so happy me the last few... so if you know me.. and lets face it why would you read this if you didn't.... if I've freaked out on you in the last four-five days sorry!! and if it was before that... well i don't know what to tell you.. everyone needs to vent occasionally even if its not right. added to that i have always been a wear your heart on your sleeve type of gale... i consider it my best and worst trait.
Now back to the topic at hand.. first time always hurts... Because of (everything said above) I am kinda nervous about this... I feel so vulnerable to the world and all its hurts right now that I'm a little nervous. I mean really who lays out all of their life out there for anyone and everyone to read?!?!??!?! okay well i guess if you are reading this you probably do too. oops. i suppose its natural to feel that way.. my other blogs (on the dreaded myspace) were witty and funny i was told... so to go from that to sometimes dark is a little scary... like letting everyone see how i really feel about things.. and come on.. my head is one SCARY place to visit!! no really trust me.. I'm there allot.
But all in all my sister from serendipity mine has convinced me to start and i think it will be beneficial to me to have someone to go and let it out.... Even if that's a little scary. So here i am. Take me or leave me. I'm funny and dark, depressing and uplifting, motivating and emotional. I'm a mom of the two best kids in the world (i am biased however) just struggling to make it day to day at this point. I hope you enjoy my blogs.