Post ala Tracy

Yes thats right. I have absolutly no idea how four days goes by withought a post when i thought I missed one day! guh. where does time go. So as I'm waiting for leaving time to come around this morning I am going to do one that tracy taged us all for.

10 Things I Did This Week:

1. I went to work.

2. I brought the kids to McDonalds for a happy meal since I didnt have the energy to cook.

3. I put up my christmas decorations.

4. I made a vow to go through the boxes in my storage room to remove old life stuff.

5. I THOUGHT about washing my car.. hehe

6. I blog comented my sister like a milion times..... on one post.

7. I watched Shrek the Halls.. which was cute.. but very short.

8. I paid my babysitter... late.. sorry gigi

9. I held numerous hands during shots.

10. I ate out too much.


9 Things Still On My Agenda This Week:

1. Do laundry

2. Take out the garbage.

3. Do dishes.

4. Call the the dad i ocasionaly babysit for to see where my money is.

5. Pay my Rent

6. Go to burlington coat factory to do an exchange.

7. Drive to yorkville to work.

8. Cook Dinner

9. Check my pockets for Pens BEFORE I wash them.


8 Shows I Watched This Week:

1. Nip/Tuck.. Favorite show EVAH

2. Shreck the Halls

3. The News

4. CSI

5. October Road

6. How the grinch stole christmas

7. Without a trace

8. ESPN.. not by choice

7 Things I Cooked This Week:

1. Cereal

2. Donoughts

3. Happy meals

4. Spagetti

5. Coffee

6. Bananna

7. KFC
(Its been a bad week)

6 Things I Read This Week:

1. Surgery Consents

2. Parents

3. All about You

4. Classified Adds

5. Reindeer

6. Mouses First Christmas

5 Reasons To Be Happy Today:

1. I have two beautiful, healthy, happy babies.

2. My mom talked to me this morning

3. Coffee from the Gas station

4. I dont have to get out of my car this morning to get gas cause I did it last night

5. I dont have to pick up Freds friend for school so I had 20 extra minutes.

4 Things I Need To Buy:

1. Laundrey detergent

2. Eggs

3. Broccolli

4. cat Food


3 People I Saw This Week:

1. Gigi

2. A million Patients

3. Fred and freida

2 Things I Am Thankful For Right Now:

1. My Family

2. My friends


1 Final Thought:

Dont settle for less than you deserve just because you are scared. If you never jump you wont know what could have been.

Raise your hand if....

So if you read my last post raise your hand......... oh wow.. well thanks... No of those people, raise your hand if you saw a breakdown coming from putting up my Christmas decorations. Okay.. now why am I the ONLY one who does not have their hand raised!!

So I started pulling all the bins out from my little storage room outside off my deck. It was nippy, I was happy. The kids were eating lunch. I got about 1/2 in and it started snowing. It was perfect. Just like I would have hoped. I love Christmas, and love decorating for it! However as I started to unpack the first bin the unbridled excitement in the kids had me stoping to put them for a nap. Which they naturally first protested to, but after promising to put the tree up after they woke up and only if they slept.. they went right down! Then a mere 1/2 way through bin number one... I hit some things that I had not thought of. I took Christmas stuff down in the end of January for once last year... yes I'm the one known to have some Christmas items up year round. Anyway.. Dick and I separated in May so obviously the Christmas stuff had not been separated, and I had not thought of it.

We have this little restaurant here that has a gift shop with cute little things. The year we got married I went to take a walk around and look and found this adorable little figurine of two snowman wrapped in a quilt with a sign that said "We got hitched in 2001" It was the cutest thing so I bought it. And we were sure that someone was tracking our lives when for the next two years the same line was there for Christmas but the snow-family was following OUR lives! The next year was a pregnant snowman... errr.. snowwoman holding a ice cream cone. Year after was the couple holding a baby. Now the year Freida was born there was no figurine to co-inside which was upsetting. But.. those three little figurines were probably one, well three, of my favorite things year round. I LOVE them.. they meant sooo much. The milestones in my life that had meant so much, right there in my favorite snowmen.

So I came across the first one and sat for a minute or two holding it remembering buying it, the excitement, how long I kept it out. Then just as i started to stuff it back in my emotional box and go on, I ran across the second and third. I was trying desperately not to cry. DESPERATELY. The kids were sleeping, I did not want to wake them up, and damn it I did not want to cry. I have not cried about him, us, or the lack thereof in a LONG time. Problem is I tried to stop it so much i started to hyperventilate. I actually could not breath. I think that is the only actual time I have hyperventilated. So (as if i needed an excuse) I grabbed the pile I had for gigi and brought them to her house. Naturally as soon as I walked in the house she knew something was wrong and hung up the phone. When she started to get me to talk I finally broke down and just cried. God it hurt. and felt good to finally let it out. i guess I should have expected it.. but I didn't stupid me.

I bring myself back to something I said to someone just yesterday to help them out. It wont be easier, but it will be better. And it is. Just didn't see the sneak attack coming in that little bin. Phhwww. And in going through my storage I have like three bins out there from my "previous life" that need to be gone through. I think I'm going to try to do that this coming weekend when the kids are gone. Planing on getting a bottle of wine.. okay a couple bottles and dispersing of any more hidden things.

The Christmas Day

No.. not Christmas day.... THE Christmas day. That is today. We got up late this am.. okay does 22 minutes count as late?? Well in this house it does!! lol.. so we got up, snuggled on the little couch (don't ask me why we don't move to the bigger one!), and watched the end half of the dolly parton Christmas movie. Now this show is on CMT every Christmas season.. and I cant stand it!! lol.. I just cant stand her.. i think thats why though. But the kids were content to snuggle and watch it and not cartoons so it was good with me! Then I got up and made eggs with cheese on top, toast with jelly, and chocolate milk. A very special treat for kids who's mommy works. They are finishing up now, we are listening to Toby Keiths Christmas special. It's really great. When we are done we are making our first "Christmas House" known to some of you as a gingerbread house. Then this afternoon we are putting up our Tree.

I'm trying to make our own little traditions for our little family, the Christmas House is my first attempt. I'm quite excited. but you know, that excitement is Pre-Toddlers, Royal Icing, and candy!! I'll let you know how that goes later. hehe

My Thanksgiving was really great. very Relaxing. It was the first Thanksgiving in about 10 years that I have not been going amid 4+ Holidays! I went to my dads for most of the day, then went to my moms for a bit. I did get down at a point since i missed the kiddos. but it helped knowing that I get them Christmas day.

Oh and Tracy pointed out a typo... I am in fact a quarter century old.. not a half.. sorry!!

The quote

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."
~meet joe black

You know someimes I think i should feel jaded.. or less trusting.. and I am.. in a way, to an extent. But I have to beleive.. i have to beleive that that someone is out there waiting for me. maybe he just had to go through stuff before we could find each other too. I love this quote.. it's everything i feel.

happy Thanksgiving!!!

happy thanksgiving all!! i hope everyone has a great day full of family, food, fun, and relaxation!
i have so much to be thankful for this year. Its been a hard one. And at points I wouls have said I didn't have much to be thankful for. But.. today is a good day

1)My Kids- I don't think i could have done this without the two wonderful little people. They give me hope.

2)My family-for anyone who read the comments to my last post.. yes that was my mom.. and no the apple did not fall from the tree!!

3)My friends- My rock when i needed it, laughter when i was down, and new babies to make me smile and remember that life is good sometimes

4)My Job- I work somewhere that I absolutely LOVE. and i think thats very rare. not to mention that I work for the most incredible people!

5)My Depression Meds-For keeping me up on those not so great days.

6)My Cat-For keeping me company during the lonely times

7)Breath right strips-For letting me breath from my nose again.


So there is a small list of what I'm thankful for. Hope you all have a great day!

My life is forever changed.

So I just had my life changed forever. let me set the scene.. or mood if you will..... it was 10-45 at night... the lights were low... As i was unable to sleep I rose and walked twords it. Picked up the box... opened it... and applied my first Breath Right Strip. Geesh people.. get your head out of the gutters!! So... Gigi's son is sick and they think he as croup.. and yep I think i got a touch of it as well as her. Fred and Freida have been on antibiotics so they should be fine. I just couldnt shake mine and it was so odd.. but it all makes sense now. So i got antibiotics, hooked up the humidifier, bought the tea and honey, the Delsym (aka best stuff ever) and alas still could not sleep. although that should be obvious since I'm typing this after 11 pm! anyway again back to topic... I also think I have a deviated septum so I cant breath... hardly.... out of my nose. My mama (aka smartest woman alive) had recommended the strips but i had never gotten them. While i was getting things at the store today I decided why not give it a try. I put it on.. in my partially lit kitchen and as i was applying the second side my eyes popped open wide and i actually said aloud.. OH! I know lame. BUT.. i could breath out of my nose! now seriously if i try to on any normal day breath out of only my nose i almost faint from lack of air. Since i put it on like 15 minutes ago i have only breathed out of my nose!! Why you ask?? Cause I can! With the added benefit that I'm not passing out! I know amazing. So you should try them!! they rock.. and i will probably rarely be without one at night now as well as when I'm sick for sure!

As a response for some of the comments to previous posts... The beast is no more. it is true. Well its still sitting outside but it was leaking gas, antifreeze, and oil. and loosing $5 per night of gas to the pavement was not my idea of a good time or a smart investment! I KNOW.. call me crazy. So yes. My boss and his wife bought me the new car. It is currently unnamed. such suggestions have been Beauty (aka.. beauty and the beast) Belle (see previous ()) Green Hornet. Hehe.. I have yet to decide on a name for her. And yes it is a her. last one was a him. Wonder how I have a sixth sense as to what sex my cars are... hmmm.. strange.

Lets see what else... The concert rocked, yes I'm old.. 1/2 a century, but i lived through it, hmmm .. there was something else i needed to reply too but i guess i will have to look later and add it to the end of another. Thanks Lainey for the post in my comments.. lol.. your list cracked me up. Love that some of you have come back to read me! i know I've been sparatic over last months. Thanks to all... As I give thanks for Thanksgiving... for coming back to me.

I will try to repost tomarow but if I don't, I hope you all have a great day. I am looking to my first hopefully relaxing thanksgiving in a very long time. My kids will be with Dick but thats okay. I will be at one place .... all day..... then leave to come home.... yea I know.. only one place! Every year we had at least 4 to attend since... well... since i was 16. Hope you have a good one.

Oh. My. God

Okay people... I'm sitting in my living room right now!! I know amazing.. a living room wow. ahha.. okay but this is amazing BECAUSE I'm wireless again!! It has not been working for so long.. and the reason i did not fix it sooner.. it took me two hours on the phone... four phone calls.... two to Lynksys and two to At&T.. guh.. but oh well i'm wireless again.

Oh.. and the OH MY GOD part??!???? I HAVE TIVO!! Now all of you out there who have dish you probably have either a DVR or TIVO system. And if you don't you totally should get one. anyway back on topic... My mama got me a TIVO for my birthday! I have been without recording, pausing options since may! GUH!! It was torture!!! I have missed the last three weeks of greys anatomy because i just was not here!! well.. not a problem anymore!!! YEAYEAYEAYEAYEA... Thank you mama.. it is wonderful!!

I'm technologically advanced again!!

Oh and last night I went to my birthday present to myself.. the Keith Urban Gary Allen concert. And let me tell you. Those men are F-I-N-E!! It was such a AMAZING show!!! I highly recomend it to anyone!! We had the cheap seats and still the show was so damn amazing!

10 Things I hate and love today...

So I'm not going to tell you which list is which you will have to guess..................

1) Cheaters
2) Chewing with your mouth open
3) laundry
4) Dishes
5) Leaking cars
6) Over draft fees
7) Fake friends
8) irritating patients
9) Kids who wont go to sleep
10)Migraines

1) Eskimo Kisses
2) Ratatouille
3) My new car
4) The thought of how big my pay check will be
5) Sheets that smell clean
6) Hot, Candle lit showers that are a little to long
7) My bitches left over spaghetti, so i didn't have to cook
8) My mama
9) Diet Dr. Pepper
10)New babies

Tag Your It!!

I've been tagged!! And i love it!! lol.. So here goes Tracy...

8 Things about me that are TOTALLY embarrassing:

1) I have been to one concert in my life... are you ready... Clay Aiken! okay So I totally loved it but you know.. everyone else thinks its totally embarrassing so it counts! of course.. as of this Friday i'm going to another one so that stat will change!

2) One very very VERY lonely night I was drunk at a bar with my bitch and wanted to go home with a guy who we lovingly refer to as "Skater Boy" aka.. clothes to big, to quiet, dirty long hair... ugh Thanks GiGi for not letting me!!

3) Sometimes when I'm home alone I catch myself talking to my cat!! But I only have one cat so I don't think that makes me the crazy cat lady yet.. right?? okay Apollo answered me and said no thats normal!! Whew.. oh wait.. there I go again

4)I am H-O-R-R-R-R-I-B-L-E- at taking my garbage out to the dumpster!! i know.. it is embarrassing.. on my landing right now are two bags!! I mean.. my brother did it growing up.. then i moved out and it was the guys job so Dick did it... but now... well now there is no guy to do it.. sigh...

5) Once I decided to trim my pubic hair before my Gyne appointment the next day and got thebright idea to use an electric trimer for the first time.... well an accidental bump later.. i ended up forced to shave it all off or look ridiculous! and then i got a razor burn so i went bald and rashy!! hindsight.. I'll risk looking ridiculous next time!!

6) In 4th grade a boy kept putting love notes in my coat pocket for me to find later.. however when i finnaly told someone.. ends up they were for my sister and not me!!!!

7) short hair, perm, school pictures... really people.. need I say more?

8) Today for lunch i went with a couple of girls to Jimmy Johns... I was standing with one and a random guy waiting for our lunch to come up and the man behined the counter goes "FIVE!!" and I looked at him odly cocked my head to the side and said.. was I supposed to get an order number?? .. um yea.. they call it out by the sandwich number.. no order numbers.. he laughed.. my friends laughed... i was mortified!! lol

So Lets see.. I tag...

1)Gypsy at Runing from the Lows
2)GiGi at Pieces of My heart
3)Mrs. Jo at High on Life
4)Lainey at Life is Just So Daily
5)Sheri at My minivan is faster than yours

I got a car!!!

So Today.. I got a car!!! Thats right! Me.. a new car... no more driving the beast!! It was leaking oil gas, and antifreeze!! Soooooo my boss.. yes i said my boss and his wife.... bought me a car!! They got it from his brother, I know they paid for it, and I know that they put a nice chunk of change into it this weekend as well as their time fixing it. And they wont let me pay for it. not a cent! To say they are the most amazing people is an understatement! I mean he kept saying Calm down its not a farari!! And i was like.. well it might as well be!!! lol... Its a green 1994 Pontiac Grand Prix... and i love it! It doesnt leak, it doesnt smell like gas... its not bigger than a semi truck... and you know... i figured out a way to thank them. I mean not just a thank you card will do.. I mean... they bough bunk beds so my kids didnt have to sleep on the floor, got me a table and chairs so they didnt have to eat on the floor, and now gave me a car so i wouldnt blow them up!!!

Soo...

I'm going to take the kids and the three of us are going to get a tattoo that reads "The _____ Rock!!" of course their last name is in the blank... that might do it huh?~!?!?!?!?

The School Bus Stop

So as I got to work today I kept being asked... "Soooo how are youuu today??" I said "well.. I got here today and that is a great start!!" lol. The car is up and running now. Not fixed.. I cant say its fixed. But its running! so thats a plus.

I'm soooo bone tired when I get home from work!! I usually work 4 days a week and for this and the next two i am working 5. And although I run around like a maniac all day at work... these last four days.. oye vay... I'm cleaning, organizing, fixing, finding.. I am actually surprised that I am so tired because of the physical strain of my everyday job. But you know.. A little tv and rest time at night and I'm making myself be in bed by 10 so last night I watched Nip/Tuck which is my veryyyy favorite show! and then went to bed.

Oh and I'm not sure if i told all of you that I have turned into a school bus! no not that I have gotten huge,.... although I have.... but In the morning I put my kids in the car, drive across town to pick a boy up who's mom's car is broken (and usually brings Fred home from school), then drive back right behind my house to drop Frieda at Gigis house, then pick up her two sons. Then I drop the big kids at their school and then drive and drop off Fred and his friend to school... and then finally head out to drive to work! AHHH!! Its a hectic morning which has me g3etting up at 5:30, and being out my door by 7:20 and not leaving town until 8!!!!!!!! So yes.. I'm a school bus!!!

The Broken Day

Yes thats what I've named this day... which I'm glad is over.. or nearly.... The broken day. So I've known that my batterie was going dead for a couple weeks. I was just trying to get through to this Friday in order to get a new one as they are not cheap. So I was on the phone with my mom on the way to work this morning. She was trying to get me the back way to one of our offices that I dont usually go to. So I'm almost there... and my car starts sputtering.. I could only get it to go 45 miles per hour.... I kept saying Oh crap.. oh its gonna die.. oh crap.... At least thats all I can remember saying along with I didnt know where I was to have someone get me. Although there were probably other explatives that went along with it. So then My phone dies on me. Okay well it lost signal.. Great i think.. but at least mom gave me the next two turns so I can find my way. Well I was nervous to stop at the stop sign with my car acting the way it was.. so I looked both ways not a car in sight and I went. Well................... half way through the turn my car died... thats right.. D-E-A-D dead as a door knob. It took all my strength to get my car off the road as much as I could... Call my mom and freak out. she said she would call a tow truck and I needed to call work to have someone come get me.. yadda yadda yadda.. doing her best "mom" voice to try and calm me down. I'm like Okay okay okay okay.... so we hang up and I call work and just sit there gripping the steering wheel trying to just breath till my coworker got there. All the time thinking I have no money till Friday what am I going to do?!?!?!?!?!?

So She gets there and picks me up, as my phone rings and its my momma reminding me to get anything important out of my car. Oh and that she couldn't get it towed. WHAT!!!!!! Okay back to freak out mode... to which I was cut off by her stating that she called the tow truck company and they said No I can not send someone to tow the car and that it was because My boss had in the mean time already called and got one to get my car! OMG how nice.. I know I work for the worlds nicest people. So then I get to work and he tells me it was towed to a shop that is good and reasonable price and they would call when they found out what was wrong. "Okay thanks" I say out loud when inside I'm thinking..."I'm 45 minutes from home... no car to get home... no money to pay for the broken car to get me home...'" sidetracked by hmmm whats that noise?? well it was my phone telling me it was dying! nice huh!! So I turn it off. Phone call after phone call after hour after hour later.... They call me that the car is done.

WHEW!! Oh wait... what did he just say?? "The alternator is fixed but you know that car really needs other things fixed right?" Says Mr. Mechanic Man Yes I state, the brakes are going out and its leaking oil. That was all you found.... right?? Well he says yes and... (the pause that scares you) It is leaking gas. WHAT THE #$(%*&#@Q)#$*#%R&)Q##&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE JUST PUT A NEW GAS TANK IN IN APRIL BECAUSE IT WAS LEAKING GAS!!!!!!!! And he says.. calmly.... that he isn't sure where it was leaking but it was definatly my car and it was definatly gas... and... that he doesn't recommend I throw any cigarettes out my car window. Nice.. humor..... good try Mr. Mechanic Man.

So my car was ready, my phone was dead, then I broke the radio at work, then I broke two pens at work, then I almost dropped a heavy shelf and broke my head! I know whew that that didn't happen. And then to top it off I got Mrs Jo a job cleaning an office and was supposed to walk her through it tonight. But after getting it fixed, finally getting there to pick it up, driving the long way home (since i no longer remembered the directions after all that), and traffic.. Well I just could NOT do one more minute. So I had to bail on her.. again.... and couldn't even call to tell her earlier since my phone was dead and wouldn't turn on... and have the other lady show her what needs to be done on Thursday morning..

SO I broke my car, my phone, my pen, my radio, almost my head, and my friends heart.

geesh.. broken day i would say!

My new business venture

So I laughed when i looked at my page after my last post. It started with.. well I've missed a couple of days. When intact...... It was almost a whole week!!! lol.. oops. darn secretary anyways! She keeps making those kind of errors on my blogs. hahaha

So this is my childless weekend. And I started a new venture. gigi babysits as you all know.... and takes every other weekend totally off. Well she watches a little boy who's dad works the weekend that she takes off. He is such a cute little thing.. well call him Munchkin. So I offered to watch him. Today is my first day.. Munchkin is a dream child. He gets here at 5:30 AM goes back to sleep till 9 AM. takes 1-2 naps and plays wonderfully. So I have accomplished something... I make extra money, get my baby fix,, get to sleep in, go wherever I want... i still get to do everything that is important when its my off weekend... and get paid for it!! I just got done cleaning and vacuuming. I forgot who easy it is to do that with a 12 month old as opposed to a 3 and 4 year old!! lol. He just followed me around laughing and smiling. Where as the older kids... they stop me, ask questions, tattle tale etc etc etc. I'm having such a good time with the little guy! And hes gone before i would want to do anything at night! Its a great way to make much needed extra money!

Well I missed a couple days..

Sorry.. I've been trying hard to get on here daily. Today i had a meeting in Yorkville and didnt get back to my normal office till 2:20 pm. then I had 27.. yes I said TWENTY SEVEN... voice mails that came in to all three offices that I personally had to take care of!!!! So I didnt get done with those till 4:30 amid the other string of calls coming in from everyone calling back since all offices were closed till that time! sooo.. I still had to get all charts ready for Monday complete with any paraphernalia that goes with them... and copy a chart to be picked up on Monday.. all in 1/2 hour. Needless to say i did not get done. So now I'm home waiting for Dicks mom to get here to pick the kids up since he would not take them till the morning and I said.. I'm sorry I have things to do.. since after all he always has a reason. And then.. thats right.. I GET TO GO BACK TO WORK!!! I got about 1/4 of the charts prepared so I have to go back and do the rest as well as needing to copy the patient chart. Yea... I'm so darn excited. :-! Oh wait.. no I'm not... I'm FREAKING EXHAUSTED!!!! I want to go get a bottle of wine.. lay on my couch.... drink it... and veg out!!! guh. Well oh well maybe when I'm done I will just cause I can. Talk to you all soon.

Oh and P.S. Thanks for all your support through everything I've been going through. You guys are great!