Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Beware of the Beast

So i will admit that i got the idea for this blog from the title of one of my faves.... My Minivan is Faster than Yours. I felt it was time to come clean and tell you about my ride.

I own a car. Free and clear.. alllll mine. No car payment. No reason to get expensive insurance. In my name alone. Its a great feeling. Now i was forced into getting a new car when my old one died. In the mean time while i was looking and saving up money i was borrowing my Dads 1980's Black conversion van which i looked so fierce in. Anyway so i was saving money up... looking around... problem is i ended up with a whopping $1400 to get one with. Which I'm sure your thinking.. What you couldn't get a Rolls Royce with that?? Sorry if that was spelled wrong.. obviously could NEVER own one hehe. I was obviously in a hurry and had to find one soon... found some cars but they had TONS of thousands of gazillions of miles on them. I checked in dealerships but they (unbeknownst to me) do not keep cars that they can sell for usually under $4,000ish.

Then i found it

The car of my dreams!!!! Okay so maybe not so much since in my dreams i drive an S-type Jaguar.... but one i could afford, was in great shape, and had room for kids, working air. I was sold. So i came back the next day and signed the papers. And he was mine.

He who you ask? now I'm a car namer... and most of my cars have been She's... but i just can not bring myself to call it a she. Why?? okay okay I'll tell you what it is...... it is an sweet 1985 Mercury Grand Marquis. For those of you wondering what this car is i suppose i can give it to you in layman's terms. It is a HUGE ass station wagon with fake wood as the color!! Now contain yourselves... i know you are jealous but come on its a one of a kind car and I'm sure you will not be able to find one.. even though i know you are dying to get one of your own!

Now in reality its a good car. Only two spots of rust which are inside the far back door so you cant see them. the upholstery is in great shape. The only real thing wrong looks wise is the back half of the fabric on ceiling is gone. and the front is falling off. Now for the two questions i always get... Yest the back window goes down, and no (much to my demise) there is no far back seat just a cargo space.

Now when i said that i should have specified i meant looks wise. and i thought it was good mechanics wise... lets see.... it was going through an amount of gas i thought was normal for such a car..... till i found out my gas tank was leaking!!! and for that mater must have been when i bought it! The passengers front and back seat windows don't go down. The air for some unknown reason has stopped working. Oh yea... and it spews oil all over inside my hood!!! Like i said it is a quality piece of art.. a classic... lol

Then comes the mater of what i was to call it. Now i know you all thought it... the natural name is The Woody. And this is what i referred to it for a long time.. however i think i was scaring mothers with small children.... understandably... if i heared someone going around saying things like "I drive the woody" "I have a HUGE woody" "No No that big woody is totally mine" "I love to ride the woody" i would steer my children away too I'm sure!! Now some people call it the Brady Mobile.... just didn't stick with me. So i call it "The Beast"..... "Did you see my beast" "I've got the beast want me to drive?" "You HAVE to take a ride in the beast!"

So there it is... My Beast! ;-)


Anonymous said...

The beast is rocking. I have to admit. I like your beast. Takes me back to the days of being kids and fighting over who would sit where. Only that one wasn't a woody. But still it was cool.

And your beast is cool.

That's 'cause you're cool.

But that's just 'cause you're my little sister ;-)

Tracy said...

Before I address the matter of "The Beast" can I just ask one question? Is Chris ACTUALLY your sister or is she just going around claiming matching DNA with everyone because she is my LLT. Just curious.
As for The Beast, I think it's super cool. Can I make a suggestion for a nickname for your Beast? Did you ever watch the second Pirates Of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest? At the very end that big dragon squid thing is about to eat Jonny and he says "Hello Beastie". That's what I thought of when you said "The Beast".
I think you should drive your beast with pride!

Pokey Puppy said...

Alas tracy ... yes Christie is actually my sis.. dna included.... OOOHHHHHHH the stories i could tell you ;-)

I love my beastie... (great adition to the name) just hilarious to drive...

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

Glad I could provide some inspiration! I giggled through this post!