Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The defiant one...........

I have posted lately about the battle of wills that Fred and I are having. It is always worse after he gets back from Dicks house because he does not follow though. Tonight has been no different. I got home from work and made dinner. Everything was good. He was running around playing with Freida. He asks me mommy am i being a good boy? And i replied "Yes Fred you are being a VERY good boy!" To which he is very happy... then twenty seconds later he flips over the back of the couch. I say are you supposed to do that? He looks at me and says "No" I say don't do it again. Then he almost slams Freida's fingers in the door he is NOT supposed to open and close. I yell.. Do NOT do that!! Okay sorry he says. Then he gets up on the couch and jumps. So i say thet's it.. time out. I put him on the couch. Next thing i know he is on the floor. I put him back on the couch and say.. Fred.. If you get off this couch again you will go for a time out in your room.

He says okay. then he is on the floor again. So I get up and in walking over there he starts screaming that he doesn't want to go in his room.... i take him by the hand to his room... put him in his bed and tell him he is in time out and not to get down. I tell him if he gets out of the bed then he will have to go night-night. Does he understand. Yes he says... so i say "Fred what will happen if you get out of your bed?" He says "I will have to go night night"

So i come out here again. Then i hear the toilet flush. I go into the bed room and cant find him. Where are you? i ask... He stands up in the laundry hamper in there room.. "What are you doing?" "I had to go pee pee really bad mommy." Back in your bed... DO NOT get out again. or you WILL go to sleep" Next thing i know he is out here again. So we went nicely back to his room put him in his bed and i closed the shades and curtains. he is of course freaking out... I say "Fred what did mommy say would happen if you got out of your bed?" He says "I would have to go night night" "and did you get out of your bed Fred?" "Yes"... "Okay.. then you are going to bed" (Screaming now) "BUT I DONT WANT TOOOO!!!" "Then you will start to listen... if you get out of your bed now you will get spankings... Do you understand" Yes he says.. so i come out here again... my heart breaking the whole way.....

But at the same time knowing that i have to be consistent to break this cycle. Well he got up once to open his door.. spankings and back in bed... then he got out again and said that he had to go to the bathroom (yes he just went ten minutes before) so i let him go then give him spankings and put him back in bed.

Just thought it was to quiet so i went and looked under the door... he was out playing with toys.. so i gave him another spanking put him in his bed and told him good night. He wanted hugs.. which i was going to say no to.. but i hugged him got him to look at me and said "Fred I love you, but you are being bad by not listening to mommy.. Now lay down in your bed and go night night. What will happen if you get out again?" "I will get spankings" he replies crying... so i say i love him good night and leave the room.

This is breaking my heart.. I hope I'm right... that consistency is the key. that if i prove what is and is not allowed here. and what is and is not acceptable to do.. that it will get better.. hopefully soon .... this is horrible on my heart. And please.. oh please.. do not let him get out of his bed again!

4 comments:

Mrs. Jo said...

OMG that wuold drive me crazy...OH wait I have the same problem..but with two of my children...I am thankfull that the third one can't talk yet! LOL...it gets easier..right...well I hope so anyway..hang in there..at least you know that you aren't the only one

Gigi said...

It is the key Red...time love and patience...thats the key...and duck tape...i swear by it...lol

Jenster said...

You're doing great. It is hard and I shed my share of tears trying to be a good mom. But it's totally worth it in the end.

And like gigi said, duct tape. :o)

Lainey-Paney said...

I don't know!
It seems sooooooo hard. I have absolutely no advice. your kiddos are older than mine....seems like they are starting to understand the consequences of their actions...it seems like it may be rough getting the message through to them, but will be worth it when they understand....

UGH. Bless your heart....